Lucky, High-Class, Redneck
Let me begin by setting the scene for you. I drove home from work a little bit ago. I stopped along the way at a boarding barn that I had been meaning to check out. Turns out they have room for two horses and will likely pay me during the summer and fall for one of the borders if they can use her in lessons – for which she will be well suited having done similar before (too bad that they don’t need a horse for super advanced idiots that want a thrill ride – could get the same deal on Mad Jack that way). Anyway, it is right on a corner I drive by usually at least four days a week, sometimes more and there is 1500 acres of open farm land to ride on behind the place. Sound lucky so far right?
High class is that I unwinding over a glass of wine. White wine with a French name. Redneck, as it is a California white with a French name. At least I am pretty sure Menage a Trois is French. 
It gets more redneck, I am drinking said wine, not in my fine crystal wine glasses with gold rims (which I have multiples sets of in storage), but rather out of my bourbon high ball glass labeled for one my favorites, Four Roses.
Back to luck – I have dabbled with handicapping a bit. For those less high-class then me (I am sure there are very few, but I reminded of the fellows at the office who didn’t know what masochistic means – for real). Anyway, handicapping is betting on the ponies with an aim to actually come out ahead of the curve. Now, first, you have to understand, while it is gambling and the house gets it share, you are really betting against everyone else who is betting – unlike the casino where the house is always going to win more than you over the long haul, if you find a good bet you are taking the money from those that made poor bets.
So, I am in the contest, well one of a couple, where you pick a race of the day. Actually no money on that race in the contest, but you are given the proverbial payout as if you had placed a $2.00 win bet. A month or so back when I got real serious I came out in the top 50 for the week. Since then I have been two busy and have only managed a selection ever day or two. So, I decided this week I was going to make all seven picks and get back in the top 50. And, as I had placed $2.00 wagers on a couple of favorite horses of mine over the weekend, I was up a bit (Curlin, Mint Lane, Unbridled Belle, First Defense all won over the weekend, along with a few losers).
Given that I was up, I decided I would take $2.00 win bet on my picks this week as well. So the first race this week is in Prairie Meadows? Where is that? Oh, Iowa – 2nd runner-up to almost known for race horses as opposed to my locale where we have five cities/towns that all have Horse Capital of the World on their water towers. It gets worse than not knowing anything about the horses running, but this particular race was for Iowa bred fillies only. So I did what anyone would do without investing in anything and picked based on name (Painted Jewel) and the fact it was a breeder who had retained ownership (something I personally like to see). Granted she was part of a pair racing, but she must have went off at a little worse than the morning line. As when she won, she paid $11.00 on the $2.00 bet.
Back now – just poured another glass of wine. Oh, forgot to mention as a celebration, I having a cream horn. I am pretty sure that is French too. A sinfully flaking pastry with a full inch of cream filling. So that is the last glass of wine, Bitzer is getting the next cream horn, we are both getting bored and fat, so short of finding a long-shot to bet on, I think we are going to go bet on us walking the 1.8 miles to the end of the road and back in under 30 minutes and enjoy the cows and sunshine for a bit.
