Relationship Menu
Okay, I am about to venture into territory I know I should clearly not breach, but just like the train wreck we all know that is going to happen, yet we can’t avert our eyes either. A few thoughts occur there, first – I am sure the full bottle of wine that is now empty is slightly impairing my judgement. Second, why is that we think we all would turn away from the train wreck anyway? After, a lot of us pay to go see demolition derbies – and how many of us really want to watch a car race that doesn’t have a wreck in it to make things interesting. Anyway, back to the subject that I should stay clear – relationships.
Why I am sure I stay clear? Well, in 38 years of living I must have a fully successful one. Of course that all depends on just what one counts as successful in such endeavors I suppose, but my general measure is a lifetime kind of thing. Perhaps my thoughts on such matters are too lofty, perhaps I am too old fashion in some ways and too modern in others to make the meshing of two personalities work for the long-term.
Anyway, I think I have figured out how to make the perfect relationship. I need to get a menu to order the exact thing I want in a woman to have this relationship from. Think about it, just like ordering a burger and side items. First, I am going to start with the beer, proceed to the burger, cooked medium – very thick, with cheddar cheese and bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and mayo – no ketchup or mustard. Let me have that with fries, the curly fries, with the spicy stuff.
If you could go through a checklist and totally completely get what you wanted from the beginning you would be set. I’ll have the woman, with blue eyes. Not particular about the color of hair, but it must be long. Oh, she must enjoy history, be witty and intelligent and able to carry on conversation regarding just about anything under the sun. She must be willing to troop around the region with horses in tow on at least 1/2 the occasions, enjoy old fashion values of farming and family, but yet enjoy modern life and occasionally like to entertain as well as go out to the pub and have a drink. No children, but maybe, probably, want children in the very near future. And since we are ordering precisely, ready to commit and settle down almost immediately.
Oh, and just like the burger order, if I get anything I don’t want, I can send it back to get it fixed. Like, oh man, you put ketchup on this when I said I didn’t want any. To much witness in the intelligence here, take this woman back and tone that part down a little bit and bring it back out and let me try it again.
The trains are just coming through the corn field now and about to met head to head – I can’t look, but yet I can’t stop looking… publish button pushed.
