Can a Single Man Adopt?
It is a legitimate question. I know that a lot of folks think that I am a freaking nut case in some ways. Anyway, I have this strong desire the last year or so to really have children. I have had an opportunity or two that was going toward that direction, but alas those seem to have gotten messed up. Anyway, a conversation I had with someone not to long led to this funny awkward point. I pointed out to her, that if all else failed and she still wanted a child there were means open to her to fulfill that need that I do not have available to me. For those of that are going huh? Live a little and use your imagination, but think donor program, either live donor or from, ahem, a bank. As a single man at this point, now approaching forty, really darn quickly I might also add I am left wondering. What would it take for a single man to be able to adopt in today’s society.
I doubt very seriously that any state agency would consider such a request. They tend to be oriented more toward family units that resemble the more classical family of Mom and Dad. I even noticed when I did a web search or two on the subject a bit ago that some states will not even allow foster parents that do not consist of a married opposite sexed adults. Maybe the theory is that if you can’t make a relationship work with someone closer to your own age and maturity level what makes you think you can work with someone at a different level. Of course, my point to that would be in a lot of ways I can communicate on the level of the typical five-year a lot better than I can to most women between the age of twenty and forty.
I am sure that through a private process it might be possible, but even then who knows for sure. After all, most private adoptions are with someone who is looking to have something better for the child then what can offer and I suspect typically that means a family environment. There is hope though, some of the starlets of hollywood and the occasional same-sex couple will have an adoption process through such a private means. Then again though, those kinds of processes are very expensive, as the private process itself is very expensive from what I understand, especially if you are talking about a baby kind of thing.
Then there is the possibility of going with an overseas type of adoption process, which I am going to assume that it is still usually done as a private process. I am not sure how that all works and what kind of rules and regulations that one runs into on that front.
Anyway, it is obvious I need to cut something way back. Not sure what it is, maybe too much coffee, as I have had nothing stronger than that since Thursday past. What in the world has me tripping down such a strange pathway of thought. Maybe it was that one quote I read late last night when I was writing that Gen-X blog about “What makes a woman a more fit parent by default of her sex?” After all, I can think of at least three or four mothers I know right now that probably should not have as much contact with their child as they are currently allowed too. Don’t get me wrong, I similarly know of at least one, possibly two mothers that should have a lot more contact with their children over other family, but don’t for one reason or another. Maybe it was also brought on a bit by the one blog I was reading this morning and every time there was a picture of the daughter (herself a grown woman) there was a beam of pride and happiness that you could feel, even through the cold wordy presentation of the blog.
Do not got jumping to some conclusion that I am going out and looking into somehow starting the process. It was just a legitimate question that come across my mind this morning and I guess maybe in some ways it would be something to consider maybe sometime a couple of years down the road. Anyway, yeah, I am definitely cutting out the coffee some today.
And of course this was meant to just be one of those notes for a future blog, but here I am twenty minutes later or so and I have the whole complete wandering thought on the matter.
I've had the same thoughts for some time now. I'm currently 43 and unmarried. I have a successful career and a stable life; however at this point in my life, finding a woman I'm attracted to who can still have children is becoming less and less a reality and more a dream. I recently researched the entire matter of a single man adopting and found a great deal of positive information. All I can say is go for it!. I am. Adopting an older child is not an issue for me and I'm willing to go through whatever i have to in order to make it a reality.
If a single man is wiling to adopt an older child or one with special needs, then as long as he can prove he's a good parent (like anyone else seeking to adopt must), he can adopt. Some people say you would have to adopt a boy, but many single men have adopted girls, so if you prefer a girl, don't let that stop you. The problem is that everyone wants to adopt a healthy infant, but those all go to married couples. If you someday decide that you want to do this, go for it! Just do your homework beforehand.
Glad to hear that I am not the only one with such an idea. I had found some positive information on it and even talked to a friend of mine (in the family courts) about it. Seems like a support group should be out ehre or something though.
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