Crossroads
I am about to get married really soon… less than two weeks as a matter of fact. I am not concerned about the marriage. Actually looking forward to that. However, I am taking the time to assess a few things in my life and feel like in some ways I am at a major crossroads. Maybe the marriage has little to do with the assessment, maybe it is in truth much more with having turned forty just under two months ago. Anyway, I have had these kind of major refocusing times in my life a couple of times before and good things have generally come of them. Last major time I got rid of motorcycles and all the rebuilding equipment and eventually got into the dream of horses instead.
Of my chief concern is the number of things I am still wanting to accomplish and things that I am involved in that seem to be taking time and probably more so money away from those other things. I am opening weighing these things out in my head and to lesser degree in a public forum here on my blog. I am not saying that anything is going to change or such going forward at this point, but just kind of throwing things on the proverbial wall and seeing if anything sticks (or in the case, on the blog wall and seeing if anything stands out in a dramatic way). So I am going to start out with the listing of things I am either actively involved in and/or desire to be pursuing at current time and giving some pluses and minuses on each of them. Note, that the list is in no particular order, so do not try to infer from that some ranking in my head.
- Medieval stuff – This umbrella includes a lot of ground, like jousting, the SCA, reenacting, competition, and so much more. I have made some major strides the last year or so in getting to be more authentic in both hard and soft kits. I feel like I am, when practicing on a regular basis, a pretty good jouster. My ground fighting, well, to be honest never gets enough time devoted to it. I also have so many things I wish to do with this from arts and science types of projects to get more authentic. The obvious is minuses are just the amount of time, effort, and especially money that is involved in this activity. Most projects require multiple levels of tools and equipment to make them happen and sometimes by the time I get around to part A I have forgotten that the plan for part B had changed somewhere along the way. One can only imagine the cost of going to events on regular basis. Now add to that the cost of dragging horses along to them on a regular basis. Of course the pluses are friendships and common bonds of doing something, especially like the jousting, in which so few actively participate. Beyond that of course is the relaxation and getting away from it all that occurs. Combine that of course with the adrenaline rush that occurs both in fighting on the ground and especially when going down the list on horseback with lance in hand. I have almost talked myself out of this one a couple of times, especially as friends and our group tended to break up over the last few years – but darn I like this activity and just need to find a core group of very authentic late 14th century folks to get uber involved with again. I have conceded for the most part, not participating in Ren Faires anymore and that should be enough for now – right?
- Farm - I have made little bones about my desire to get back to a farm. But not just any farm. One that is self-sustaining both currently and for the future. In other words, a farm that is making enough money to pay for itself at some point in the future and at the same time, leaving the land in better condition for the future after I am gone that what it started. A combined practice of using older methods of doing things while at the same time focused on a product for marketability is the way accomplish this. I have always thought pasture raised animals and given my knack for hogs (and the prospering I see from a friend I helped start int hat direction) seems right. Of course I also love the horses too and have thought the breeding operation of those – but the market is so down without turning to race horses or something akin that I wonder about that side of things. And of course I would love to use draft power on the farm as well. The same kind of escape can occur on the farm as the medieval stuff brings me, though rarely the adrenaline rushes. It is hard work and required a lot of time. And the minor fact of money to get the land to begin with has been a huge hold up at current time. Money that is spent on other things seem to always push this one a bit further down the list in my head constantly. It is perhaps that realization more than anything that is prompting the composing this open memo to myself. What needs to be done to make this more likely to occur on sooner rather than later time frame.
- Family - As I have said before, this one is something that has really only come into focus the last few years. But it is a major one. Getting married is a good step in the right direction on this front. Some tell me that is a first step and truth be told, though not required, it probably makes this aspect of things a lot neater going forward. Of course, not that I resent or in any way am complaining, but a huge amount of expense is going along with this marriage. Perhaps it would have been enough to make the farm land purchase occur later this spring. But the farm in my mind has always been a family affair and to that end sometimes priorities have to be set. Besides we love one another and it just seems right now to pursue things the way.
- Green Living – I use that to describe a lot of things. Mostly though I am focused on being less consumer oriented with especially that which is disposable. Instead I am trying to focus on reduce, reuse, and especially recycle. It ties in nicely with my thoughts toward the medieval stuff and especially that of the farm and sustainable practices. When using something that is a disposable item I try to focus on it being both something that is easy to reproduce and also biodegradable in fairly short order, hopefully even returning to the soil something positive in the process. I think being on a farm gives a lot more options in this matter, but still there is a lot that can be done when not on a farm. I do often question myself though when having a fast food meal just how that fits in with this grand scheme. Actually it is beyond just fast food, but it is especially it is seen there. I also really question how this fits into the scheme of driving three hundred or more miles with horses in tow to do a medieval event. After all, the amount of fuel used and carbon produced is a huge amount in such situations. I am almost of the opinion that all the things that I try to do and am looking forward to doing with getting back to the farm are fundamentally wiped out by the several trips I make like that each year and probably more so.
- Writing – This one is almost all but completely being left out these days. I have only sporadically worked on blogs the last several months. Beyond that though, I have not done much with my journal and especially the books. They lay waiting for my attention but rarely are getting it these days. Some of the issue is just the flux life is taking right now, but some of it too is just a like of time and maybe to a lesser degree a somewhat lack of interest. I have gotten some stuff done with the blogs the last few weeks, though I have probably spent more time on the technical side and making notes of blogs to be written rather than actually writing. Will just have see how this goes, as I know that with plans for family and farm the time for such things are likely to get less. Of course I have to be honest and admit that of late I have been to bed typically a bit earlier then I have in the past. Losing an hour or two most evenings and on a few occasions maybe a few more than that really has an impact on such things. So yeah, I am sleeping my life away…
Well, enough of my dribble… like I said, just sounding board to the blog. Enjoy and accept my apologies all at the same time.
