Bourbon, blues – bet you were thinking I was going to say something about New Orleans? Nah, I got the blues tonight and in what is, I am sure, a spiral deeper into such things, I have compounded the matter with a bit of bourbon. Well, okay, a bit is probably in most folks accounting of such things an understatement. So what does any of this have to do with horses? Well, that is what this entry is about and relates to so many things included medieval reenacting and jousting, clearly the horses, and coping with having MS in my life, so read onward…
Having debated the issue of trying to figure out if I can make riding horses work or not for approaching six months, but especially the last three since my diagnosis of having MS I was caught off guard when I suppose I set myself up for things this evening. Absolutely no fault of the person who said it and I am not even sure how the conversation turned to it this evening, but it did. I said something and the question/statement back to me was something like, so you have decided to give up doing your medieval thing with the horses?
Reality is I have not decided that. Reality is I really want to maintain it is a hobby and extreme interest that I have. Reality is also that I have not been on a horse since March – much too long of a time. For the first little bit I was not sure what was happening and was just taking it all easy. Now it much more, in all honesty a bit of fear on my part. A fear that if I try to give it a go I will quickly find that I can not. And if I can not even ride one, that it also means that the idea of medieval activities with them is right out.
It is worse though. That fear of the possibilities has pushed me away from two sweet horses. I have virtually avoided them all summer (don’t worry, they have been well cared for, I have seen to that). But in the past, I would have spent hours just hanging out with Angel and Jack well, just to hang out with them.
Suppose I am going to have to remedy this over the weekend. Certainly going to have to go hang out with the two of them, maybe I will even have to do something dumb and take a saddle along with me as well.
Sorry for the personal ramble in this post, but hey, it is my blog and sometimes one just has to do this kind of thing to help get things in perspective. Of course a conversation with a friend a bit ago helped some with the perspective too, thanks.
** – Image from Bourbon Blue, fine dining establishment in Philly.