I have talked about this once before here in the blog. The idea that sometimes we get all caught up in the ideas of what perfect should be and how it has to be there before acting on the idea, so we end up not acting. I know when I mentioned it before, the whole point of it was to really motivate myself to stop doing that “step back and considering” before I acted on the impulse. Sometimes I do manage to act on the impulse, but rarely on things that are beneficial or helpful. More often, I tend to act on impulse in regards to spending money foolish fashion but tend to act on things only with much thought and consideration when things should just be done. Failure to act on such things tends to leave them undesirable or even ill-fated due to timing when all considerations have been made. Some cases to illustrate. Back at the end of July or perhaps the beginning of August I set up another blog, that is all private to use a journal for my thoughts. I have written to it on occasion, but not nearly so much as I was thinking I would when I set up. More often than not it is because I have so many thoughts that I am thinking that should be written down and to find the right topic for even myself, and then further the correct words for it – well you can see. I end up in such thought about the process and achieving the perfect journal entry for even myself that I neglect to do what it was set up for, that being just a flow of conscious from my head to the page. Thinking that part of why I am maybe not putting thoughts in the journal as much I had thought I would be because I have never kept it online like that before. There is something to be said about the feeling of setting down with a notebook or a pages and putting ink on the page. Something very soothing about it. And after all, I have a plan for later converting such pages to the form above, along with scans of the original handwritten pages. So I decided I would pick up a blank notebook or even an actual journal and as my last two purple pens were out of ink, I thought I would get some of those as well. Over the last few days I have managed to pick up the pens – that was easy – as I know which ones I like and I am very loyal to that particular style (I also, in trying to find them at a store that did not have them, found a new pen that I like and I am going to try as well). However, the to be written on part is proving itself more difficult. In times past, when I have kept a journal (why is the act of journaling not an action? Why is it that I have not journaled in the past? English language needs to be more flexible or submit to my will) I have used the pads that you can get at campus for taking tests. I found in the past they were suitable. They will lay flat, not expensive, easily labeled, stored easily as well. Thinking now though that I would like something with a greater ability for archival quality, not to mention something that would perhaps hold up better to the rigors of being transported I shopped for something more. I admit I have only looked a few places, but I can’t find just exactly what it is I want. I find too much flowering stuff for one – which I am just not all that much into. But beyond that, I find nothing that notes it is acid free and archival quality anywhere near a reasonable price. And then when I did find the acid free paper, it was usually with a bulky spiral binding, which I do not think would work going around in the laptop bag well, or it was bound such that I do not think would lay flat very well. It got worse though, in my quest, I found really nice leather-bound journals, beautiful, think a la Dances with Wolves. I think that is exactly what I would want to carry around and it would be so durable and so just awesome. It would also work at historic events too depending on the time period. But then the stick shock of them hits – though I was still contemplating. But I tend to, when in a writing mode, write so much, I would quickly fill up the pages? Then what? Can I get refill? Can I store the pages within outside of the leather-bound unit? And in all of this I have not even gone into the debate on size, regular notebook or something more in the next size down like eight by five? UGH! None that I looked at seemed to have immediate solutions. I left in dismay after browsing at several stores and finding myself no closer to what I want because I think I am being too picky perhaps. I find myself at this moment contemplating returning to the little notebooks that I have used before, to hell with archival quality acid free paper, after all, why I am so keen on that? And then maybe at a later date, getting a few pieces of leather and fashioning my own cover for such things. Make it so it can easily hold the notebooks, but that they are easily removable as well. And then I am groaning again, as just what I need is another project right? All of this makes me think of a friend that is about personality types. She thinks I am certain type, and in that, one trait is often inaction without having everything just perfect. I hate it when things like that play true.