Relationship Menu

Okay, I am about to venture into territory I know I should clearly not breach, but just like the train wreck we all know that is going to happen, yet we can’t avert our eyes either. A few thoughts occur there, first – I am sure the full bottle of wine that is now empty is slightly impairing my judgement. Second, why is that we think we all would turn away from the train wreck anyway? After, a lot of us pay to go see demolition derbies – and how many of us really want to watch a car race that doesn’t have a wreck in it to make things interesting. Anyway, back to the subject that I should stay clear – relationships.

Why I am sure I stay clear? Well, in 38 years of living I must have a fully successful one. Of course that all depends on just what one counts as successful in such endeavors I suppose, but my general measure is a lifetime kind of thing. Perhaps my thoughts on such matters are too lofty, perhaps I am too old fashion in some ways and too modern in others to make the meshing of two personalities work for the long-term.

Anyway, I think I have figured out how to make the perfect relationship. I need to get a menu to order the exact thing I want in a woman to have this relationship from. Think about it, just like ordering a burger and side items. First, I am going to start with the beer, proceed to the burger, cooked medium – very thick, with cheddar cheese and bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and mayo – no ketchup or mustard. Let me have that with fries, the curly fries, with the spicy stuff.

If you could go through a checklist and totally completely get what you wanted from the beginning you would be set. I’ll have the woman, with blue eyes. Not particular about the color of hair, but it must be long. Oh, she must enjoy history, be witty and intelligent and able to carry on conversation regarding just about anything under the sun. She must be willing to troop around the region with horses in tow on at least 1/2 the occasions, enjoy old fashion values of farming and family, but yet enjoy modern life and occasionally like to entertain as well as go out to the pub and have a drink. No children, but maybe, probably, want children in the very near future. And since we are ordering precisely, ready to commit and settle down almost immediately.

Oh, and just like the burger order, if I get anything I don’t want, I can send it back to get it fixed. Like, oh man, you put ketchup on this when I said I didn’t want any. To much witness in the intelligence here, take this woman back and tone that part down a little bit and bring it back out and let me try it again.

The trains are just coming through the corn field now and about to met head to head – I can’t look, but yet I can’t stop looking… publish button pushed.

Why men need the right women

Men need a good woman to stand beside him, keep his feet on the right path, and keep his focus on the hearth. A part o this comes from a good friend recently sharing with me some information from the 1800’s. There is a series of thoughts that goes something along the line of the man should be the one taking care of things outside the home, women should be the ones keeping the virtues of home and hearth.

Fundamentally I can fully admit to being the kind of man when given half a reason to justify it (or not) running off to my favorite pub and having a drink. And of course with a drink comes the desire for women. And why is it that with or without drink us men are apt to be attracted the type of woman who does us no good? Maybe it is the lure of the possibility of ease of that which all heterosexual men desire – and especially those of us that are apt to run off to a drink at a seedy pub kind of place.

Point is I am kind of on the fence as to whether I agree with the notion or not. Fundamentally I do agree with it though. As wrong as it sounds I think one or the other in a relationship has to have a final say about things. And as being a male, I tend toward that direction of things. However, I also feel that any final say should strongly consider the thoughts of the matter from the other party involved in the relationship. And in such a relationship it should always be a matter of honor for the one in charge to take up the cause of the one who is deferring to the judgement of the one in charge.

Now the catch is of course why would the one in charge consider the thoughts and feelings of the other one? Obviously out of love, concern and respect for her wishes. And this is why it is so important for a man to be attracted to the right woman. I think of all the times that I am seemingly the lost soul and attracted to the wrong woman – most often just infatuation – but how easy it is for even just that to lead me down the wrong path. And why is it that us men think we can somehow impress a woman to run off with us for the eve when at the bar, or worse yet, think we can catch some girls eye as we drive beside her down a two lane road? When I think of the wasted efforts on my part for such inane things I am amazed that I have had time or money for anything of real value.

I look back and see many mistakes historically made with both the right kind of woman and many more made with the wrong kind of woman. I wonder why I didn’t emulate my grandfather more in his obvious choice of the right kind of woman. Him and her, as one, against the world. One thing I guess I can say is back then perhaps there were less of the wrong kind of women to lead one astray. But even that is not fully the answer, as a lot of time it is not just the wrong woman but wrong choices made with the right woman.

Well now – I have written what is on my heart – now to decide wether the brain is in the right place to publish this or keep to ourselves as a private post? Well, I am going to go ahead and post this – surely of all things I have written this will stir up some comments of nothing else will.